Red Shoes, Blue Screens: A Modern Cautionary Tale—Why We’re Walking Away from Social Media—for Good
Recently I stumbled upon an Instagram post that read: "I have decided to delete all social media for my business. As a business owner, I realized that every time I post, I am calling people into a toxic place." The truth of this hit me hard. I was forced to confront a profound incongruence in my life—and in my business.
A few years ago, after watching the documentaries, The Social Dilemma and Do You Trust This Computer?, I became acutely aware of the perilous impacts of social media on both mental health and personal sovereignty. I deleted my Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram accounts to reclaim my mind and my soul. There was a cost—albeit a small one: I lost touch with some friends, missed a few family updates. But in return, I clawed back my privacy and my time.
And yet, my business continued to establish a robust social media presence. Without questioning the deeper assumptions, we bought into the narrative that success demands appeasing the algorithm. What’s the harm in posting some cute photos of horses, we reasoned. Perhaps we could be a positive force inside the shadows of clickbait. I was literally outsourcing complicity inside the social media frenzy, all while patting myself on the back for personally stepping away.
Denial comes in many costumes.
So I’ve been closely examining this reliance on social media as a business owner…but EQUUS is not just any business. We sit on the front lines of human evolution and transformation. We must hold ourselves accountable to a different set of standards and ethics. And here’s what I’ve determined:
Social media does not, in fact, generate business for us. Instead, we rely on close relationships, referrals from those longtime friends and clients, and deep, meaningful connections.
We are in it for the long haul, cultivating slow, meaningful, longterm relationships with clients as we journey alongside their lifelong commitment to growth. This requires more than likes, comments and scrolls, but picking up the phone and talking to someone.
We rely on the power of genuine connection—with the land, the animals and people—to grow our business in a regenerative, authentic way.
We trust “kairos” time, understanding that it takes this kind of time to cultivate trust with our community. Social media is all about chronos time—the quick fix, the instant gratification, and fast transactions.
We are an ally to the souls of our clientele, and as such, listen closely to each person’s connection to their true nature through nature.
We are in the business of liberating people from the tyranny of oppression of self-limiting and limiting beliefs and systems. We work to liberate innate human capital—joy, love, authenticity, and compassion. We dismantle shame so that our clients can go on to lead lives of profound contentment and fulfillment. And finally, we powerfully support those who are in the business of doing these things for others. Social media is in fundamental opposition to this work. It is exploitative, addictive, performative, and extractive.
Each time we post, we invite people into a system designed to undermine mental health, attention, energy, and dignity. These platforms have no place in our ecosystem. To keep using them is not only incongruent with who we are—it’s actively harmful to the energies we seek to nurture.
An old fairy tale called The Red Shoes tells the story of what happens when the soul’s hunger for connection is starved, and we are seduced by the glitter of false belonging—the kind of false belonging that social media promises. The story, in summary, goes a little bit like this…
There once was a young orphaned girl—wild-haired, bright-souled—who lived in poverty, but was free and joyful. She wandered barefoot through the forest paths, stitching together scraps of leather to make her own shoes, shoes that let her feet stay close and connected to the breathing earth. She loved these shoes, as they were an expression of her creativity, and her connection to life.
But one day, she is taken in by a wealthy old woman, one who combs the wild from her hair and tames her with cold hands yet good intentions. The girl, eager to belong, submits. Her handmade shoes are burned—her self-expression gone in a puff of smoke—and she is gifted “proper” shoes, stiff and dead.
Then come the red shoes. Not made by her own hands, not blessed by instinct or the old ways and the deep knowing, but gaudy, seductive, and flashy. She slips them on, and they in turn slip into her. They dance her. At first, she believes she is free. She believes that these shoes give her even more than she had before. She manically runs and skips, and can jump higher than ever. But soon, she realizes cannot stop. The shoes are cursed. They dance her through brambles, thorns, through shame and scorn. They dance her day and night. They dance her bloody, exhausted and tormented. “You shall dance until your skin hangs from your bones, and there are only entrails dancing,” curse the shoes.
To survive, she pleads with the village executioner to cut off her feet, which he does. The shoes carry her feet away over the hills and out of sight. She is left to crawl on the ground for the rest of her life. Only then can she return to the deeper rhythm—the one that is slow, sacred, and connected once more.
This powerful cautionary tale warns of the cost of abandoning one's wild self in exchange for false belonging, and the comfort of other shiny objects—quick fixes and instant gratification. I love this story as a metaphor for our society’s addiction to Facebook, Twitter (X), and Instagram. In our starvation, we are vulnerable to the seduction of these platforms. We want to stay connected to our friends and family. We want to stay current with updates. In our time-starved lives, we want to belong, yet only have time for a “like” or a heart emoji. But the cost is dear. We become tied to these platforms, and like the Red Shoes, they enter us and take from us our spirit (along with our data, privacy and sovereignty). They speed up our lives, rob us of time, and curse us with endless scrolling. They rob us of mental health by saturating our bodies in shame.
Evidence of the harm these platforms cause to life and liberty is mounting:
Dismantling of Democracy and Freedom
In her recent TED Talk, This is What a Digital Coup Looks Like, investigative journalist Carole Cadwalladr warns that democracy is under siege by a powerful alliance of tech elites and authoritarian leaders—the “broligarchy.” Drawing from her experiences uncovering the Facebook–Cambridge Analytica data scandal and facing legal retaliation, she argues that unchecked digital platforms have become tools for mass manipulation, eroding democratic institutions and enabling autocratic control. Cadwalladr calls for urgent collective action to resist this digital authoritarianism, emphasizing that citizens must reclaim control over information systems to safeguard democracy.
Destruction of the Environment
Big Tech's relentless expansion into AI and cloud services is drying up some of the world's most water-stressed regions through their data centers that consume enormous amounts of water. These vast warehouses containing networked servers used for the remote storage and processing of data, as well as training AI models such as ChatGPT, use water for cooling. Though water-reliant, they are commonly built in arid regions because the lack of humidity is optimal for reducing metal corrosion.
A joint investigation by The Guardian and SourceMaterial reveals that Amazon, Microsoft, and Google (as well as others such as Meta) are building and operating data centers in areas already grappling with severe droughts. Amazon’s policies around water use have sparked opposition from inside the company, with one of its own sustainability experts warning that its plans are “not ethical”. In January, Trump announced “Project Stargate”, which he called “the largest AI infrastructure project in history”. Starting in Texas, the $500bn joint venture will finance data centers across the US. Trump has pledged to fast-track new energy projects to power these new data centers.
People living around these centers report water contamination, drying up of wells, environmental dust, loss of valuable ecosystems, light and noise pollution and much more. See this short video, to learn what Zuckerberg does not want you to know about the true cost of our social media habit.
Harming Your Mental Health
The list of the ways that social media harms your mental health is long: increased anxiety, mood swings, FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), cyberbullying, insomnia, depression, lowered self-esteem, isolation, loneliness, self harm, and suicide are among just a few of the risks inherent in engaging on the platforms. I would add brainwashing to the mix—the algorithmic cocktail served to you each day creates an echo-chamber of reinforced perceptions, leading you towards any manner of conspiracies, air-tight biases, and skewed world-views.
Harming Your Physical Health
Think of all the hours you spend sitting and scrolling on social media. Those are hours you could be spending walking, gardening, conversing with friends and family, reading a good book, playing with the dog, or adventuring. Social media negatively impacts physical health through several pathways, including decreased sleep quality, increased stress, and reduced physical activity. These negative effects can lead to various health problems, including higher levels of inflammation and increased risk of chronic diseases.
When I added all this up, I could not justify playing the social media game anymore, personally or professionally. So this essay serves as an official announcement that as of today, we are closing our Facebook, X, and Instagram accounts. You can find us on our website—please subscribe if you haven't already to stay updated on all things EQUUS. We have a growing library and share videos on YouTube, and we'll continue to stay active on LinkedIn.
But more importantly, I hope this essay stirs something in you. I hope the essay also serves as a call to action, to encourage you, too, to delete your accounts—even your professional ones, and jump off the relentless and utterly exhausting, dehumanizing, and destructive hamster wheel “expanding your reach”. If you are in the business of supporting people to live free and authentic lives—whether you are an owner, or operate as a “secret agent of change” within a larger organization, or if you are an artist, visionary, or parent, you have the opportunity to model something unique to the world, away from the Red Shoes frenzy.
As Clarissa Pinkola Estes writes, “In our culture, we may travel life's path in one of two ways: in handmade shoes, crafted with love and care according to the unique needs of the individual soul; or in Red Shoes, which promise instant fulfillment, but ultimately lead to a painful, hollow, and split existence.”
Kelly Wendorf is an ICF Master Certified executive and personal coach, published author, spiritual mentor, disruptor, and socially responsible entrepreneur.
As founder of EQUUS® she specializes in the liberation of robust leadership capacities in those who are most qualified — the empathetic, the conscientious, the accountable, the generous, and the kind.
Did you like this essay? Kelly is available for a wide range of services including Coaching, Workshops, The EQUUS Experience®, Retreats, Keynote Speaking and more.
